Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
The only stupid question is the question you don't ask....................
Running makes water taste so good,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Tell the truth and run!,,,,,,,,,,,
Being funny doesn't mean you aren't serious. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
The sound of laughter has always been the nicest music in the universe.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys!.........
If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
It is better to build children than repair adults.................................
If you lend a person $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
How come wrong numbers are never busy?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked "What's on TV?", I said "Dust"...................
Why is it that a pizza gets to your house faster than an ambulance?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog..............................
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.
He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife
merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please
allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman
He&nb sp;arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do& nbsp;the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them
on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad,
breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dis hwasher, folded
laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy
my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us
trade back."
The Lord, in his ;infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
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